Place and Time Response.

After reading Tori’s short story paper I learned a lot to help me with my own paper. What worked for her was that she has a really good idea for her place so her story was interesting to read. Also, this being the second time I read this paper, I noticed that she restructured her paper so that she talked about her coach dying first and then backtracked instead of the other way around. I think this makes her paper so much easier and more interesting to read. Structure is super important for a research paper. One thing that didn’t work for her was her sentence structure and the way she worded a lot of her sentences. The way she worded them made them hard to follow and confusing. What I learned from her paper that can help me in mine is description. Tori did a really good job describing her place and I feel like that is something I can definitely use to make my paper better. Some feedback I want to emphasize to Tori is for her to read the whole thing to herself out loud. By doing this she can hear the parts of her sentence that sound awkward and make corrections.